P-Man: Symposium of Idiocy

When we get back, I stop by for a smoke and ML calls and sounds breathless. "The P man is in!". I say "Hahahahahhaa. We gonna have a fun day."

I walk in to see him in his civvies. Tapping away at the keyboard. Last evening my boss called ML and enquired about that particular piece of work that the dumb fuck P-man has yet to clear. See, P-motherfucker-man, shot out an email regarding some thing that required 10 over parties to reply. He didn't attach a format to reply with and he went on his 14 day long leave the very next day. This means me, ML, Boss, have had to handle phone calls and reply emails on his behalf all the goddamn time he was gone, without a clue as to what he could have meant in the email cos the BASTARD didn't bother keeping us in the loop.

Last night, my boss replied just one thing. "I'm gonna FUCK him!". ML and me was in hyper-joy mood. So, this morning the prick sits down and reads email and I think to myself, ok, the fucker has learnt his lesson, he's gonna send out the necessary stuff. Time now is 0830 Hours.

I sit and observe him. ML goes jalan jalan. At about 0845H, P man picks up the phone and dials furiously. Thinking its something related to the issue and not wanting to be caught unawares, I pick up the other line and listen in. This was how the conversation went:

P: Hi, Ms. ***, regarding this Open House in September ah... can I check if can bring family members?
***: Nah, only for internal personnnel
P: You mean, nephew and niece also cannot ah, they will stop ah?
***: Yeah la, written clearly right, for internal consumption only!
P: Oh ok, thanks.

So, the MOTHERFUCKER, makes such an urgent phone call to ask if his blood-tie motherfuckers can come attend a free event instead of handling business at hand. My blood is was boiling. I wait on. At 0915H, he logs out. Wakes up. ML walks in. And the mother peh pundei has the bloody cheek to ask ML to send out a mail to remind the 5-6 parties who hadn't replied yet regarding his issue. Wah lan eh! How can like that? Then he left abruptly, stating that he will be back after 530 to do more work. Anything la, please fuck off.

Once he was safely out of the premises. I got on the phone with my Boss, explained that we're still at Square One and that I will help him solve the problem as far as I can. He replied: "Thanks man! I'm gonna FUCK him!". Solid stuff big man.

So, I finished up my high profile paper, writing a paper is such hard work, not cos of the content but cos of the damn formatting. 12 pt fonts la, double space la, tabbing la, paragraphing la, distribution list la, address la, annexes la. KNN! Why can't some bimbo secretary do the necessary for me while I just dictate. Haiz. No point having a rank. It means shit unless you are a MS Word/Excel/Powerpoint expert too.

Did the P man return after office hours?

Did he send out another email of his own, which would mirror what ML and me already sent out earlier on, thus making us look like fools?

Did he realize he didn't get the email me and ML sent out cos his motherfucking mailbox was full?

Did he not KNOW that MS Outlook has an "Out of Office" option and he could actually forward his mail to ML while he was gallivanting during his leave?

Did he realize Boss is gonna fry his ass when he walks in on Thursday?

Did he remember to send out his resumes to the different factories in Yishun Industrial Park, cos he's gonna be out of a job real soon?

Did he?

Did he not?

Stay tuned. Adventures of the P Man continues tomorrow. I'll try and update the story at noon if I'm free enough. But nah, my boss is in. I gotta work on my backstabbing a bit more. Face to face coupled with pained exasperating expressions is always better than on the phone and SMS.

"Hit you so severe, Your vengeance need not be feared."

# posted by ah_neh @ 7:13 PM